I was talking with my friend Francesca a while ago about how if I were at a party with certain members of the Brooklyn literary scene, from whom I am 0-3 degrees of social connection and whose parties I not-so-secretly wish I went to, I would think they were cool but they would not think I was cool. Francesca objected that
Thank you for this article Sarah. I found some reconciliation with the complexities of Israeli politics by allowing, emotionally speaking, for both statements: I can support certain things the Israeli government does while also feeling deeply saddened at the outcomes. One of the things I find very challenging is watching fellow Jews jump to conclusions about opinions they have regarding the Israel-Hamas conflict without engaging in this act of balancing their emotions. Your article speaks to the power of emotions to help us reflect rather than react. Shame is one of those emotions that is hard to see in a positive light and you've certainly accomplished that for me. Cheers!
Thank you for sharing this, Sarah. It speaks to what I think a lot of us have been dealing with lately. I've been so sad and frustrated the past few weeks to see how many of my American Jewish friends and family are responding to the situation in Gaza.
One of the things I always admired about Judaism - especially growing up in the Bible Belt, surrounded by various sects of Evangelical Christianity - is how we were taught growing up to ask hard questions, to challenge easy answers, and to be compassionate because helping others is the goal in itself, not a means of impressing G-d or avoiding His wrath.
And seeing my fellow Jews absolutely throw that out the window when it comes to Gaza and the Palestinian people just breaks my heart.
I think if you're going to identify in some way with Israel, which I do, then it is only appropriate to feel guilt and shame in response to its recent behavior. The same way it's appropriate for white Americans to feel ashamed of racism in America - it can be a necessary catalyst for taking action and speaking up against discrimination and oppression. And I think a lot of people get defensive, like, "I'm white and I didn't do anything racist, why should I be ashamed?" and there are a lot of parallels to that in the way American Jews respond to Israel's behavior. Because people think of shame as meaning "I'm a bad person," rather than "I have an obligation to make this situation better" (the "pudor" shame you described). "Good" shame, as opposed to the unhealthy, self-hating kind, comes from a disconnect between your values and your actions. And I think a lot of us are feeling that disconnect right now.
Thank you for this article Sarah. I found some reconciliation with the complexities of Israeli politics by allowing, emotionally speaking, for both statements: I can support certain things the Israeli government does while also feeling deeply saddened at the outcomes. One of the things I find very challenging is watching fellow Jews jump to conclusions about opinions they have regarding the Israel-Hamas conflict without engaging in this act of balancing their emotions. Your article speaks to the power of emotions to help us reflect rather than react. Shame is one of those emotions that is hard to see in a positive light and you've certainly accomplished that for me. Cheers!
Thank you for sharing this, Sarah. It speaks to what I think a lot of us have been dealing with lately. I've been so sad and frustrated the past few weeks to see how many of my American Jewish friends and family are responding to the situation in Gaza.
One of the things I always admired about Judaism - especially growing up in the Bible Belt, surrounded by various sects of Evangelical Christianity - is how we were taught growing up to ask hard questions, to challenge easy answers, and to be compassionate because helping others is the goal in itself, not a means of impressing G-d or avoiding His wrath.
And seeing my fellow Jews absolutely throw that out the window when it comes to Gaza and the Palestinian people just breaks my heart.
I think if you're going to identify in some way with Israel, which I do, then it is only appropriate to feel guilt and shame in response to its recent behavior. The same way it's appropriate for white Americans to feel ashamed of racism in America - it can be a necessary catalyst for taking action and speaking up against discrimination and oppression. And I think a lot of people get defensive, like, "I'm white and I didn't do anything racist, why should I be ashamed?" and there are a lot of parallels to that in the way American Jews respond to Israel's behavior. Because people think of shame as meaning "I'm a bad person," rather than "I have an obligation to make this situation better" (the "pudor" shame you described). "Good" shame, as opposed to the unhealthy, self-hating kind, comes from a disconnect between your values and your actions. And I think a lot of us are feeling that disconnect right now.